Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-25-07

Drive and Ambition

I am positive that your drive and ambition will get you into trouble.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-24-07

More People Like You

I am positive that if there were more people like you cloning would finally be outlawed.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-23-07

Man of Your Dreams

I am positive that you'll find the man of your dreams...unfortunately, he'll be married.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-22-07

Common Touch

I am positive that with your common touch you'll end up with a harassment lawsuit filed against you.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-21-07

You'll Do Well

I am positive that you'll do well...oops, I meant, you'll dig a well.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-20-07

Today is Your Luck Day!

I am positive that today is your lucky day...unfortunately, you'll be at home sick and miss it.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-19-07

Nobody Does it Better

I am positive that nobody does it better than you...most do it much better.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-18-07

You'll Get the Promotion

I am positive you'll get the promotion...right before the company goes under.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-17-07

If You Work Hard

I am positive that if you work hard and put in the extra time that eventually you'll die.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-16-07

Women Like You

I am positve women like you...until they meet you.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-15-07

Dream Big

I am positive that if you dream big you're in for a big let down.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-14-07

You'll Get Rich

I am positive that you'll get rich...and then lose it all.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-13-07

Not Everyone is as Smart as You

I am positive that not everyone is as smart as you...most are smarter.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-12-07

A Better Day

I am positive that tomorrow will bring a better day...better for your boss to torture you.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-11-07

You'll Get a New Job

I am positive that you'll get a new job...not a better job, just a new one.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-10-07

You Will Achieve Your Dream

I am positive you will achieve your dream...then you'll wake up.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-9-07

Do the Right Thing

I am positive if you do the right thing that you'll pay for it in the end.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-8-07

You'll Reach New Heights

I am positive that you'll reach new heights...then the fire department will bring the bring ladder to get you down.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-7-07

You'll Meet the One

I am positive that you'll meet the one...the one that makes you miserable.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-6-07

You're on the Right Track

 

I am positive that you're on the right track with the wrong train headed straight for you.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-5-07

You Matter

 

I am positive that you matter. Sorry, I mispoke, you're what's the matter.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-4-07

If You Think You Can

I am positive that if you think you can, then you think you can. Not that you can, because you can't.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-3-07

There's Nobody Like You

I am positive that there is nobody like you...and that's a big relief to the rest of us.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-2-07

People Listen To You

I am positive that people listen to you...and then do just the opposite of whatever you say.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 11-1-07

Your Altitude

I am positive that your altitude is determined by your low aptitude.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 10-31-07

Your Dreams Fulfilled

I am positive you will live to see your dreams fulfilled...by someone else.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 10-30-07

You Will Succeed

I am positive you will succeed...at being mediocre.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 10-29-07

PMA

I am positive you have a PMA - Poor Mental Aptitude.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 10-28-07

You'd Be Missed

 

I am positive that if you didn't come back to the office that you'd be missed...for about five minutes, and then the vultures would sweep in and snag anything good you left behind in your cubicle.

Daily Demotivational by I.M. Bitter 10-27-07

Nobody Does it Better!

 

I am positive that nobody does it better than you...it being surf the web.

Keep Trying

They say persistence is the key to success. But let’s be real—if you keep trying long and hard enough, you’ll just get tired and quit. Honestly, giving up might be the real accomplishment here.

Things Will Work Out

Things will definitely work out in the end. Not for you, of course—but somewhere, someone will be thriving, and you can take solace in knowing the universe is fair... to them.

Welcome to Dmotivate - It Sucks to Be You!

Welcome to DMotivate: the only place where your dreams come to die—but in a fun, sarcastic way! Feeling inspired? Good. That won't last long.

Here, we celebrate the art of low expectations, revel in the hilarity of failed ambitions, and remind you that trying hard is overrated. Motivation is for the gullible, and positivity is a scam. We’re here to bring you back to Earth—fast and hard.

So, settle in, embrace the futility, and let’s get to work... or not. You’re already demotivated just reading this, aren’t you?